I'm Leafing You
by Expressive Dissonance
Summary: Vincent Valentine is physically a plant, and Yuffie doesn't want him to leaf. You heard me! Yuffentine, Reno/Yuffie


This 'drabble' was a request on a forum I'm on from lynn reist, Yuffentine Crusader extraordinaire!

_Vincent V. is physically a plant, and Yuffie doesn't want him to leaf.

* * *

_

When Aerith first gave Yuffie the pathetic little plant with its morbid red and black pot, she was skeptical that the thing was even alive. It's stalk was a pale, sickly green, the flower buds were black, and its thorny stalk had a perpetual droop to it.

In short, it was the gloomiest thing she'd ever laid eyes on. Her exact opposite.

But Aerith had insisted that she take it—who was she to be rude? Besides, with the way the it was looking, it'd be dead within a week. Hello mulch pile.

Surprisingly, it survived, even though most plants Yuffie got a hold of wilted within the first few days in her apartment. She watered them too little (or too much), she forgot to put them out by a windowsill, or she accidentally chopped them up practicing with shurikens and other sharp objects from time to time.

"Wow, you're a tough little guy, aren't you?" Yuffie said one day. She noted with no little amount of shock that it had managed to live a full month with her, even it was butt ugly. This had to be a record or something. "Well, I guess you deserve a name for being awesome! Hmm, how bout…Little Awesome Dude? Or Fred. Maybe Bill! Nah, those are boring…Super Plant! The Little Plant That Could!" She snapped her fingers and beamed. "Yuffie Jr. the Awesome Super Plant!

"I called him Vincent," a voice piped up with amusement.

"Whoa!" Yuffie yelped and tumbled off her stool in surprise. The older woman looked down at her in amusement, her green eyes sparkling with mirth as she graciously offered her a hand up. "I see you've managed to keep him alive, Yuffie. But you're not exactly giving him the love and care he needs to flourish."

Yuffie tipped her head and blinked at the pink-clad woman. "'Him'? C'mon, Flower Power, I know you love plants, but it has a gender now?"

The impish smile Yuffie had learned to be wary of crossed Aerith's face. "Really, Yuffie, isn't the color scheme enough of a hint for you?"

Both of Yuffie's brows rose (she hadn't quite mastered the art of one, like Tifa and Aeris could, darnit!). "Soooo…what, you want me to start singing lullabies and stuff to it? Like a pet or something?"

The flower girl looked thoughtful for a second before a beatific smile broke out across her face. "Well, it _has_ been scientifically proven that plants respond to touch and sound, so I don't think it'd hurt…"

"Yeah, sure. And they'll start shaking their leaves when they hear the rumba. And bending their stems when they see a limbo pole! But then again, it'd be _awesome_ if Vinnie could learn the Macarena…fine, Flower Power, I'll be nice to old Vinners here," Yuffie conceded, mockingly patting the plant.

"Fuck!" she yelped, jerking her hand back. "Forgot the little bastard has thorns!"

* * *

For a while, Yuffie thought Aerith had been joking. The flower girl was known for having a few woo-woo powers, but this was different, even for her! Her ribbon had to be on too tight. It was just a plant, right? No way could it hear her talking, or feel her touch or any of that nonsense. But really…

What harm could it do?

Soon, she found herself talking to the plant little by little, whether it be in garbled baby talk, or just cursing life in general on bad days. In the end, the changes the plant made were so subtle, it took her a good two months to notice.

The stalk got healthier first. The pale, sickeningly bright green color had shifted to a darker, healthier looking color, and the its general brittleness had thickened out. Then, the blackened buds shed their crusty, shriveled bits to reveal blood red coverings hidden underneath. Sometimes, Yuffie found herself staring at them because of how beautiful and soft they were. Waterings suddenly became regular, and Yuffie always checked to be sure that "Vinnie" had plenty of sunshine.

In the fourth month of owning him, Yuffie saw her first Vincent-flower.

It was the sun shining off a deep gold flower one early morning that caught her attention. She'd been so excited, she called Aerith and babbled to her in hurried Wutaiian until her friend had giggled and told her to calm down and speak Continental.

Two days later, those blood red buds gently unfolded in the moonlight to frame the lush green leaves with odd, flowy petals. Aerith herself was baffled at what kind of plant Vincent could possibly be, but Yuffie didn't care; he was just her "fantastical, awesomerific buddy Vinnie!"

For some reason, the sudden growths made her feel as if a breakthrough had been made. So she made the decision one night to go out for a few drinks.

She met Reno that night.

To most people, the man wasn't much. But Yuffie could see through a lot of things, and bullshit just happened to be one of her specialties. They shot the shit, mouthed off at each other, had a drinking contest, and started a bar brawl.

And Yuffie brought him home with her.

It was meant to be nothing but wild, drunken sex. The next morning, Yuffie was supposed to forget that she had even been out with a guy because she would be too busy puking her guts up. But she woke up to sly aqua eyes and roaming hands, and a mouth that knew just where to move and what to say.

She forgot to water Vincent, she forgot to talk to him; she forgot about him completely.

The new romance was something Yuffie hadn't anticipated going very far. He was dangerous, she was dangerous, and damn the world for thinking it could get them down. They paid old man Highwind to take them skydiving, they rock-climbed the face of Da Chao, and flirted with danger almost as much as each other.

All the while, the golden flower wilted, and the healthy leaves Yuffie had taken to poking and gazing at in the mornings were beginning to litter the sink.

When the scarlet petals suddenly fell off and the buds began blackening, Yuffie finally took notice and called Aerith over to inspect the plant.

"I don't understand it," she said worriedly. "I thought you said he'd been growing well and that you were taking good care of him."

"I was!" Yuffie cried. "I watered it, I talked to it, and I made sure it had plenty of sunlight; what more could it want? Green tea and a massage?"

Although Yuffie may not have noticed, Aerith took note of the young woman's words; where she had eventually accustomed herself to calling the plant 'he,' 'him,' 'Vince,' 'Vinnie,' or 'Vinners,' she now only referred to him as _it_.

"Reno and I are going diving in the underwater ruins for a week. Do you think you can keep the plant for me and see if you can work your Flower Power?"

"I'll see what I can do," Aerith promised, but deep down, she knew that it wasn't _her_ Vincent wanted to spend time with.

Another leaf dropped.

* * *

Quiet: Plant angst. Plangst. Crack is whack, but I love writing it =3

(Long live /WM/!)


End file.
